PREPARE TO BE ENLIGHTENED.

Feb 04

WOMEN.

These ribcreatures need to learn their place in the world. Women were made from men, therefore women obey men, like a child obeys his mother (who obeys his father.). They should be in the kitchen at all times, because they were bred for it. You see women should always be in the kitchen cooking, but not eating. Woman was made from a rib, which protects and holds a woman’s stomach from too much food entering, because that food should be going to her beloved husband. It’s simple physics.

PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING, BUT DON’T.

The “But don’t” part of there is the part that puts me out of this group of idiots. I love proving these people wrong. The most often offenders are teachers- especially if the teacher is a woman. I mean really, what are they even doing in a classroom? They don’t belong there. They should be in the kitchen, whipping up some fresh baked Snickerdoodles and chilling beer with the coldness of their hearts.

COMMERCIALS.

Hi, if I wanted your fricken product I’d go to the store and buy it. Enough said.

LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN JOKE.

“I just crack myself up!” Oh, really? Do you? Next time you laugh at your own joke, I’ll just crack my own head open! C’mon, this is a basic of basics, which gives the average person an excuse for not knowing it. You see, maybe the other person was going to laugh at your joke- until you took up all the laughing space in the room, idiot.

AMERICANS.

The act of being annoying is an American tradition, like dads chasing their kids around the yard with power tools. Yeah, I live in America. But I’m not American. There’s a difference. Americans try their very hardest to look down on anyone and everyone, but most of them can’t see past their beer bellies. Americans are under the impression that they’re the greatest country in the whole world, and you just can’t argue with that logic, if by “great” they mean “great” at making the rest of the world hate them. Go, America!